Our Little Family

Our Little Family

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Out of Your Control

I have been putting off updating our blog for one reason alone - delays.  Honestly you guys, I'm tired of that word!  Going into this adoption journey, we heard that there would be delays.  Yes, got it, no problem, minor hiccups (probably not going to happen to me).  That is honestly what I was thinking two and a half years ago when this whole process began.  Two and a half years later, I'm starting to get it.  You know, on one hand, I hate the delays because I just want it all to be easy and smooth!  You decide something, bam, it happens!  But that's not how life in general works, so why do I expect adoption to work like that?  So I am learning to accept the delays.  I am learning to love them.  Why?  Well, for me, it gives me a sort of reality check.  I can tend to be a "happily ever after" kind of girl and approach pretty much everything with that mindset.  Delays bring be back to reality.  It helps me to remember that anything worth having is worth working for and not giving up on!  Delays build my faith and my endurance. Delays remind me that I am NOT in control.  Delays help me to learn to surrender my selfish wants and immediate gratifications.  No, I am not in control of this process, but I never have been.  However, I DO know the Person who is in control.  I will never be able to have this process look the way that I want it to, but I can have peace and joy throughout it, no matter what it looks like!

This is what I have been wrestling with and learning during the past two months, and this is why you have not heard from me.  My goal through all of this is to learn and grow, not to just hunker down and hold on til it gets better.  And so that is what I am doing.  Some days are harder then others, but I know that I am going to be better because of it, a better person, friend, wife and mom.

So what are these delays I keep referring to?  Well, we were all set up to have our first home visit and interview at the end of January.  Send in the first Polar Vortex.  Yup, ice on the roadways equals a reschedule for the home visit.  No problem, rescheduled for two weeks later.  Send in the second Polar Vortex.  Ice on the bridges and roadways, trees down everywhere, home visit cancelled again.

Another delay we have been dealing with is construction on the condo building we are currently living in.  About a month after we moved in, we found out that the HOA here just awarded a contract to completely rehab all of the outside of the condo buildings and to fix some issues they were having with mold and flooding.  We were told it would start some time after the holidays and take about four to six weeks to complete for each building.  Our building was first on the list.  Well, we are now eight weeks into the rehab and still no end in sight.  It is chaos around our building right now, and all of this construction was not going to look well in our home study.

So, because of the ice storms and the construction delays, we were now just seven weeks from the end of our lease at our condo.  We had decided to move to a house in a neighborhood closer to work and church at the end of our lease.  This posed yet another problem.  The home study interviews and finalization time frame is five weeks.  We would finish it and then move two weeks later and need an update.  We talked everything over with our case worker and have decided that the best thing to do is just delay our interviews until we get into our new place.  That way we won't have the construction to worry about and won't have to pay for another update to our home study.

In light of all of this, it is now looking like, our home study will be finalized at the end of May.  From that point on, we will be ready to be matched.  Honestly, sometimes I wonder if it really will happen, if we really will come to the end of this long journey.  But then I remember that life is just a series of journeys.  When this chapter ends, we will be starting a new one.  None of these chapters in our lives are perfect or without ups and downs, but that is what makes our life so good, so full, so interesting and so dear!  We would become quickly bored with the perfect life and never be challenged.  So, I am looking ahead to the rest of this journey with excitement and anticipation, both of seeing it come to an end and also just seeing how it all plays out.

Our next update will probably come from our new home and may very well include a picture of a certain little girl's nursery, so stay tuned! :-D  And thank you all once again for walking this journey with us!!